I really don’t think that my studies at the OU are supposed to be a competition. Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop me from getting a little hyped when I see someone planning to take the same degree as me. Everytime I see phrases along the lines of: “I’m hoping to get a BA (Hons) in English Literature and Language”, I think to myself, “I’m going to do better than they are.”
I’m positive that’s not a healthy attitude. So immediately after I think the terrible thought, I try to retract it in my head; I remind myself that it’s not a competition, that everyone will achieve a degree based on their own merits and that the grades of my fellow students has no impact on my final grade. Ultimately, I know that how well I do at my degree will be entirely based on how much effort I put into it…. But that doesn’t stop the terrible thought, because I’m fairly competitive by nature.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m fairly certain I’m not aggressive in the forums, or that I’ll be aggressive in the tutorials. Neither do I think that I’ll be acting all high-and-mighty because my ego tells me that I’m the best person that’s ever studied for this degree in recorded history (been there, done that, learnt my lesson – several times!). I just want to do well, and that displays itself as the terrible thought. But I’m doing my best to control it.